Skip to main content

My First Date

Within 48 hours the first viable flirtation came in. He was about my age, attractive, similar career path but, having a penis of his own, still gainfully employed in the business world. It seemed right. I was optimistic. After the exchange of several e-mails we agreed to meet for a date. I was nervous. It had been so long since I had been on an actual dinner date that I wasn’t sure how to act. I’m a 48 year old woman and it was necessary for a girlfriend to come over to help me pick out what to wear. A couple of hours passed modeling possible outfits and working on hair and makeup. I was beside myself. My girlfriend suggested a drink but I decided it would be wrong to be drunk at the beginning of my date. I considered taking a valium but decided that could end badly as the evening progressed.

I decided that a smart cocktail upon arrival at the restaurant would ease my nerves enough and if it was really that bad, I would just skip dinner and come home. My makeup was perfect; my hair looked good. I waited for Mr. Handsome to pick me up for dinner.

So now comes my first lesson learned. Men do not always represent themselves in an honest fashion, even when it’s done anonymously. While I did sort of recognized him when he arrived, the picture was old, very old. An entirely different person came to pick me up. He was older, grayer and heavier. Amazingly he seemed completely unaware of it. He chatted easily about the wonders of himself and even made reference – although I still can’t figure out how he worked it into the conversation – to his small ass. His ass, by the way, was roughly the size of Iowa. As if that weren’t enough, he was rude to the wait staff. It was the longest dinner on record. I somehow think the feeling was mutual. I never heard from him again.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Pink Glove Dance

Who says kids don't have a thing or two to say? My best friend’s daughter is an extraordinary 11 year-old. I am proud to call Katya my friend as well. This afternoon she sent this video that has been making the rounds and I wanted to share it with you. In order to raise breast cancer awareness, Providence St. Vincent Medical Center in Portland, Oregon produced the Pink Glove Dance for Breast Cancer Awareness. Their hope was that they could get 1,000,000 hits to help raise money. In just one month they’re nearly at the 5.5 million mark. It’s fun and inspiring. Take a moment and let it make you smile ;-) xxx

Menopause

I am in menopause. I am at my beginning. Again, I have come of age. We all do it. We all do it differently – hormone replacement therapy; hot flashes; loss of sex drive; increased sex drive; the tragedy of new facial hair; fear of bone loss; antidepressants – and none of us know what will come next. Very few of us share our secrets. I have spent the last few years discussing these issues with girlfriends. We have shocked and surprised each other as well as found comfort in some of our common stories. After years of being single and keeping my eyes on nothing but my career, it was clearly time to take control of myself and my body. I had just gone through a record emotional dry spell. I felt very alone, but imagined that I was not in a place so different than other women. Women in the workplace spend years losing themselves in order to gain advancement that, even if it does come, won’t be as satisfying as they thought. It is that time in your late thirties, often through your forties, t...

Distractions

I’m sitting at the Café in the Barnes & Noble in the Citicorp Building in NYC. I came for a little inspiration. It is filled with writers and readers sipping coffee and staring out the window at the rain. I love being here, surrounded by stacks of books and people who love them. When I arrived, the café was full so I went to the second floor to the biography section to take a gander at my book on the shelf. It’s so exciting to know that it’s here, to know that several stores in Manhattan have it on the shelf. I wonder if that will ever get old. I certainly hope not. I came here to work on my novel, but my head is so full I decided I make use of the time here to organize my thoughts. Multitasking has been a chore over these last few months and it helps to just lay it all out. These are the main events: The novel – The working title is Thanksgiving. The collaboration project – It’s a big exciting secret book proposal. The big pitch – I’m working on the idea of making I T...