Sunday, September 26, 2010

Cutting His Losses

I was excited to see The Irishman and his daughter this weekend. To my surprise, he came over alone on Friday evening and called it quits. Despite my own fears and doubts, I confess I didn’t see it coming.

“I just can’t,” he said.

As it turns out, The Irishman’s steamer trunk is filled with rocks and is sinking fast. He is too overwhelmed to be in a relationship at the moment, so he wants to be my friend.

What is our ‘relationship’? I was waiting to talk about it, to give it a name we both felt comfortable with; he had already named it, become overwhelmed and needed to rename it.

I didn’t know it, but I had been dubbed ‘girlfriend’. His friends knew. He told his sister. He had even told his mother! No wonder his mother was eager to meet me during her short visit from Ireland last week. The Irishman brought his sister and mother over for tea. I made sure the house was sparkling and baked a picture-perfect apple pie. I loved meeting them and had a fabulous time. Before they left, cameras came out and many photos were snapped with the promise of sharing them in the future. There were questions about whether or not I would be visiting Ireland.

There was no way for me to know, but apparently The Irishman had already decided.

“I just can’t,” he said.

I asked why he had gone to the trouble of introducing me to his family if he felt we should ‘end’ things, and he said that his mother wanted to meet me, his girlfriend, and that he wanted her to meet me. The introduction to his family only made my fantasies run wilder than they had the week before. He should have never allowed that meeting to happen and I am angry about it.

I cried this morning when I put away his daughter’s toothbrush for safekeeping. I supposed I should have thrown it away, but that seemed to final an act. I’m in love with that little girl and her big blue eyes that look so much like her Daddy’s.

My fantasies of being whisked away by a pair of strong arms have been dashed.

I am sad and so is The Irishman. We both cried as he left.

He hopes that we can still be friends.

He hopes we can still be in each other’s lives.

He wants to know if we can meet for drinks after work.

1 comment:

Loz said...

Sometimes we work too hard to make things happen. I've learn over the years that that mysterious force some call "the unverse" has ways of making things work out for the better.