Tuesday, March 02, 2010

Up In The Air

Last night, as part of my pre-Oscar movie-going frenzy I went to see “Up In The Air.” I remain haunted by Ryan Bingham and the look on his face when his lover tells him he is a parenthesis.

In the beginning of the film Ryan and Alex seem to be cut from the same fabric – embracing aloneness; looking for entertainment; going back to their corners.

Then something happens and Ryan’s heart opens up to possibilities beyond his own private universe. He begins to fall in love. Even more, he decides to share the news with the woman he loves only to discover that she was more like him that he was.

Ryan: I thought I was part of your life.

Alex: I thought we signed up for the same thing… I thought our relationship was perfectly clear. You are an escape. You’re a break from our normal lives. You’re a parenthesis.

Ryan: I’m a parenthesis?

I’ve been on both sides of that conversation. In years gone by I have been like Ryan and Alex – cool, falsely compassionate, struggling to mitigate my own shortcomings and failures in the eyes of the world and finding myself lonely and alone. These days I’m more often on the receiving end of heartache.

I’ve decided to not look for a parenthesis. I’ve decided to not be afraid of what might happen if I am more than a parenthetical in someone else’s life.

I’m hoping that Mr. Right is out there and that he is ready for me. In the meantime, like in the movie, I am up in the air hoping for a smooth landing.

1 comment:

korliss said...

I believe you will have a safe landing! love you-