Saturday, July 21, 2012

Delayed Gratification

The cyber dating world can be a funny place.

This afternoon I received a playful (and a little bit forward) e-mail from a prospective date. When I opened his profile I knew in a second that it was someone I met 3 years ago. Our first date was not good, but I decided to respond. These things can take time.

To my chagrin, he had absolutely no memory of having met.

Good, bad or indifferent, I remember the most ridiculous details of life's smallest moments. I goaded him on. We exchanged a few e-mails and I supplied him with details of our meeting. Finally, the light bulb when off. He remembered! How could this quirky little man have forgotten who I was?

What he remembered had nothing to do with my memory of our one and only date. He took the opportunity of my response to tell me how grand he had been and how awful I was. I have no idea how long it took him to compose his missive, but wonder why he bothered to expend the energy. I suppose I could have let sleeping dogs lie, but I decided to respond making suggestions about how he should NOT greet future dates.

For those men who still in the dating pool who may be reading this......

1. Never arrive late.
2. Never arrive for a first date in exercise clothes.
3. Never arrive sweaty, unless you look really good in a wet t-shirt. Even then it's a really bad idea.
4. Never refuse to talk about yourself. 
5. Never ask a woman her opinion and then tell her she doesn't understand what she's talking about. It doesn't actually make you look smart in makes you look like an idiot. There is never room for condescension.